Do Feminists Cry? // Anastasiya Tsoy



-       Anastasiya, you are The feminist, right?
-       Yes. I am.
-       I know you fight for women’s rights and want equality and equity, and want to be strong… I know… I know… emotionally and internally strong. I read it in your blog. (She smiled)
-       Yes.
-       But if you are strong… emotionally… do you cry? Do feminists cry?

The answer is Yes. They do. We do. I do.  

I, Feminist, cried Today. Some people might be very rude by saying, “You are a (Women in Psychology) representative and you have to proofread your emails. Who chose you (so sarcastic)?” or “Your grammar suck… and you are studying at Columbia?” or “You have to learn English first and then write.” I did not know what bullying, sounds too strong, let’s say – mockery is until this year… People are talking about tolerance and Syrian refugees, language barriers and borders complications but people do not think what they say to people – refugees. People who forced to leave their houses for better life are not people who leave their houses voluntary. They are two different layers of population!!! Some may be tolerant but some may be very rude and ignorant of other’s feelings. My question is how this other may teach, promote tolerance and talk or debate about this tolerance?

I, Feminist, cried Today because I thought that I can inspire and empower others and help them to pass this period of their lives when language, culture and fears are not barriers but, today, I realized that I am still this immigrant with fears, language barriers and have not being accepting syndrome. Every time when I hand my paper, submit any proposals or proofread an email, I have this feeling of not being accepted because of the language barrier and grammar mistakes. Some of you (who knows me) may say that language is not a major thing but it is still the major thing for others. What can we do? How can we stop it? Do we have to start from ourselves and stop others when they want to laugh at people who cannot express their feelings in English? Do we have to bring them to our foreign language company and show them how to be a minority in Russian, Chinese, Afghan or other community?

I, Feminist, cried Today… and I Stopped. One of my good friend, professor, told me once, “When people are going to upset you, open your resume, diary, pictures and look at them. You are beautiful, young, smart woman who WILL do great things. What about people? People sometimes are poor educated and they do not know in reality what immigration is.” I cried but I stopped because Feminists can cry but not too long. Why? Because they, we, I are fighters… no, no, I am not going to fight with this people. I will fight with the stigma and inability to understand how your shoes might be uncomfortable and how would you put yourself in ours and walk a mile.

I, Feminist, Smile now because the life is SO unpredictable and may give you people who can inspire you and may give you people who make you strong, force you to move on and show you that you are on the right track. And… yes… Feminists Cry. We are Strong but we are Humans. If you have people who put you down, remove this people from your surroundings. You do not need them… There will be jewels in your surroundings that will inspire, help and believe in you… so, my advice is replace others to jewels and you will shine because jewels produce jewels.


Written by an Immigrant with grammar mistakes, Feminist with full of inspiration, Student with ability to learn, Anastasiya Tsoy  

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