Imagine a world where the story of Cinderella doesn’t exist; a world where there are no toy store aisles adorned with pink and filled with princess dress up clothes and the latest Disney princess paraphernalia. Imagine a birthday party without tiaras and endless comments about “how pretty she looks.” If we didn’t have these things, what would our girls choose to play with? More importantly, what would we choose to bring into our homes? What images and objects would we offer to the girls in our lives?
Girls’ apparent
obsession with princesses is largely a reflection of the choices that the
adults around them are making. In American culture, parents and other adults
are facing a “princess problem.” The “princess problem” is the process by which
girls are continually exposed to antiquated princess or princess-like images,
objects and messages that overemphasize physical beauty and the importance of
having a man and fail to offer a broader sense of what girls and women can be.
These images, objects and messages are transmitted through movies, books, toys and
the media and perpetuate traditional images of girlhood. Their newer, more “modern”
counterparts often represent old messages in disguise or miss opportunities to
celebrate new, exciting, diverse and expansive images of girls and women.
Continuing to
expose girls to princess images and paraphernalia introduces the proverbial
glass ceiling into their lives at an extremely impressionable time in their
development. Carrying assumptions that these images are harmless and part of
being a girl, many don’t realize that they actually interrupt girls’ creative
process and efforts to construct a healthy, inclusive sense of self. This
interruption happens insidiously, and is often unseen. For example, every time
we offer girls princess objects and activities and hand our boys something
different (e.g., action figures) we are sending a silent message that these are
the things they ought to like.
The reality is,
girls get the message that princesses are important - something to be liked -
from the minute they are born. We adorn them in pink and flood them with
princess books and movies. These messages come continually throughout their
early development and from multiple sources such as parents, family, peers, and
the media. I marvel at the powerlessness with which parents and others speak
about their daughter’s “choices.” I hear
them say, “She’s a girly girl” or “My daughter has always liked the girly
stuff. She just gravitates to it.” Girls are not born liking princess images
and paraphernalia. Their environment shapes their options. Research in psychology - including social
psychology and cultural psychology - has shown very clearly that the
environment exerts a tremendous influence on human behavior. If our girls grew
up in a culture where princesses did not exist, they would find something else
to do. Perhaps even better, they would create images and objects all on their
own and free from the confines of their socialization.
We create our
children’s environment and, whether we realize it or not, we are socializing
them to like and dislike various things every single day. We send subtle
messages through our purchases, our expressions, and the words we use. The research is out (and has been for a long
time) - we tend to do different, often stereotypical, things with our daughters
and sons based on our own conditioning. The good news is, we have to the power
to reflect on our choices and chart a new, more intentional course. I see
parents doing this with their food choices all the time as they abandon old
ways of eating and intentionally take the time to adopt a healthy diet for
themselves and their families based on new information and understandings.
Parents also update their technology regularly to keep pace with the demands of
a complex world. We have a right - if not a responsibility - to update centuries-old
images and definitions of girlhood.
It’s time to
put the stereotypes aside and open up a larger world for and with our girls. It’s
time to abandon assumptions that our daughters’ affection for princess images,
objects and activities is instinctual or inevitable. It’s also time to abandon
the assumption that princess toys and playthings allows girls to be creative
and expressive. There are literally hundreds of other options for girls to
express their creativity without resorting to outmoded princess paraphernalia. When
we give girls and boys creative materials (e.g., play silks, cardboard boxes)
they become creators.
In a world where girls and women continue to struggle for
justice and equality, it is our job to create environments where our girls can
realize their potential and learn skills that will help them to share their
diverse gifts and talents with their families and communities. The stakes are
high. A report of the American Psychological Association (2010) notes, “There
is no question that girls…grow up in a cultural milieu saturated with
sexualizing messages.” These and other research reports have found that the
proliferation of sexualized and limiting images of girls and women in
advertising, merchandizing, and media is harmful to girls’ self-image and
healthy development (2010). We have the power to expose girls to new
ideas about what makes them valuable and who they can be. Our
daughters are our future - they’re going to be navigating a deeply complex
world. They need new, diverse images that will inspire them to create their own
paths …images that will inspire leadership, creativity, advocacy, invention and
a sense of deep value.
Everything we do today provides a lesson for tomorrow.
Anthropologists have described how important play is for children - how the
activities children engage in as part of play prepare them for adulthood. What
are we preparing our girls for? We have the right to choose new images and
objects that do a better job of supporting girls’ healthy development. We can
chart our own course as adults versus letting the norms of a highly confusing
culture dictate our choices.
And so I revisit my original question: What would girls play
with if there were no princesses? Take the time to find out. Create princess-free zones for and with girls
and let them astound you. Relish in their ingenuity as they create their own
toys and activities, free from confining images that limit their options and
ideas. Don’t fall prey to the princess-industrial-complex, a huge profit-seeking
machine that is making billions at the expense of our daughters. Think deeply
about the choices you are making and why, and dare to chart a new path. You
just might inspire a girl to do the same.
Pictures from:
APA Report
citation:
American
Psychological Association,Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls. (2010).
Report of the
APA Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls. Retrieved from
Written by Alyssa Benedict
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