Mansplaining. You know how some men will choose to explain
things to you in a patronizing tone, even when you know more than they do about
the subject at hand? That all-too-familiar experience has been coined mansplaining,
for those of you who don’t know. There are few things more irritating than
telling someone you are in a doctoral program in psychology only to have to
listen to them tell you all about Freud for the next five to ten
minutes-lecture style. Thank you so much for the psychology 101 run down, oh
wise one. One circumstance that is actually more annoying, in my opinion, is
when men who know exactly what you’re studying in school because they are doing
it too, feel the need to mansplain. I am currently working on a study dealing
with sexism. I am, of course, elbows deep in all of the literature around this
subject. I have a decent handle on the subject. I have had a male peer ask me
about my research, then proceed to tell me about the pay gap or the fact that a
woman is running for president, as though I may have been living under a rock.
[Insert obvious disclaimer about how not all men do this and some women do it
too]
What is it that makes these men so confident that they know
more about any given topic than the woman they are speaking to? Studies
continuously show that women underestimate their abilities, while men
overestimate their abilities, even when actual ability is equal. We regularly
cut ourselves, and sometimes other women, down. While we are well represented
in colleges in general, we are still underrepresented in STEM fields. Despite
our presence and contributions to various fields, we don’t take our share of
leadership positions. My program consists mainly of women, yet male voices
often dominate classroom discussions. Those who are in leadership positions
often lack self-confidence regarding their status, and instead credit external
factors. I regularly hear women say things like “I got lucky on that paper” or “I
don’t know how I landed that job.” You got where you are because you earned it
ladies. This confidence gap is likely to blame for these aforementioned
annoying interactions. It is probably playing a role in other inequities as
well. Maybe this is another chicken or the egg situation. I don’t know. I do
know that we are strong, capable, intelligent beings. We should be able to
reveal these aspects of ourselves as indiscriminately as our male counterparts.
So thank you gentlemen, but really- we’ve got it.
Written by Katie Hannah
Love your blog Katie Hannah-Fisher. I am commenting on your mansplaining article. I have experienced this phenomenon before. Because I have lived a long time, and from listening to the way men converse, I have come to understand this about men: Well, this is my theory anyway: Men are the hunters and gatherers and protectors and leaders by nature. So they have to think highly of themselves in order to fulfill their instinctive duties. They can't help it. They don't realize they're doing it. Maybe that is where the male ego comes into play, I don't know. I have sat through many a conversation, listening to a man talk about all the things he has conquered in life, big and small, (ego and bragging here) and go on and on about his knowledge about things, all the while, I listen and nod as if he is truly smart, brave, talented, etc, knowing I'm a way more advanced human than he, on so many levels. I don't generally challenge these individuals or let on that I know more about something than they. Why? I don't know. I just let him be the "man." Maybe not to de-masculate him? Out of politeness or kindness really. I listen, I have my ideas, thoughts, and opinions, some very strong ones, that I am not afraid to share. But I don't feel less of a human being for giving a man his moment. HOWEVER, if a man expresses that men are superior to women, or is disrespectful to women in general, that dude just got put on the idiot list and I will have as little contact with that person as possible. Most men are just being men, I cut 'em some slack, but some are idiots and that will never change, no matter what. Or maybe the younger generations of women can raise sons to be men who are not idiots (for lack of a better word).
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