Medicated Moms: Commentary on Tyra Show’s 1/7/11 Broadcast

On January 7, 2011, the Tyra Show aired a show on “Soccer Mom Stoners,” highlighting the recent trend for ordinary soccer moms to engage in marijuana use. These moms claimed that they used marijuana to help keep them calm and relaxed while caring for their sometimes misbehaving children, and generally to help relieve some of the stress and pressure of motherhood. Although none admitted to using marijuana in front of their children, they did admit to picking up their children from school, taking them to sports practices and engaging in other activities with their children while under the influence of the drug. To present a balanced viewpoint of this striking phenomenon, Tyra Banks, the show’s host, also introduced a panel of mothers against the use of marijuana. The marijuana moms considered their drug use as no worse than the use of Xanax or drinking wine - the alternative strategies that the opposing moms may have used to relieve parental stress. This dialogue raises questions in my mind: “Why are traditionally prescribed anti-anxiety medications (Prozac, Xanax, etc.), marijuana and other intoxicating substances regarded as acceptable coping strategies for parenting stress?” And, “what is this discussion teaching the typically twenty-something year old television audience about motherhood?”                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Panel of "Soccer Moms"

I believe these mothers and others in our communities may benefit from parenting-skills and stress-management training (or re-training). We have come to an age where prescribed medication (whether picked up from a pharmacy or medical marijuana store) is relied upon as easy solutions to relieve the pressures of motherhood. More than this, this strategy is considered acceptable in some circles. In no way do I intend to over-generalize this phenomenon or imply that most mothers medicate themselves to “survive” their parenting responsibilities. To some relief, there are many mothers who engage in meditation, yoga, exercise, hobbies and religious practices to manage their stress. For those who do use marijuana or medications to cope, outside of treatment for an anxiety disorder, I hope there will be some future learning of alternative, healthier and enduring coping strategies. As a colleague of mine sometimes retorts, “A quick-fix is not a permanent solution.” A quick-fix by marijuana is certainly not a permanent strategy and those in the medical community understand the long-term negative effects it may bring.                                                                                                                                                                                                       
For those twenty-something year old Tyra Show viewers who watched this episode and question their own (future) parenting practices, I would urge them to consider the long-term consequences of drug-reliance for coping. I urge them to reflect on what strategies have worked to help them to deal with past stressors, and apply those skills to their parenting pressures. As a working mother, I understand that sometimes the demands of parenting and life can be high. However, I also understand that I must choose what is healthy for me and the long-term well-being of my family when coping with stress. As therapists, we may reflect upon our personal values in parent stress-management and how we can treat our clients’ affective needs through coping strategies training. We should also consider both the short-term benefits and possible long-term draw-backs before referring our non-disordered clients for treatment-by-medication. This episode on ‘Marijuana Moms’ on the Tyra Show was fascinating, certainly, but also a motivator for further discussion on motherhood , marijuana, medicating and stress-management.  


~Monica Ellis

It's a Man's World.. or Social Network

Fact #1 - People love social networking (hence this blog, yes?)

Fact #2 - People LOVE Facebook. I'm talking my little cousins, my students, myself, my mom.. the list goes on.

Fact #3 - In the most unexpected move of all, people LOVE the Facebook movie (also known as The Social Network).

I'm sure a lot of people cringed when the news of a Facebook movie emerged, but in a true Hollywood twist, celebrated director David Fincher, famous for well-crafted thrillers like Seven and Fight Club, turned what could be a cheesy gimmick into something worth seeing. Case and point - during last night's Golden Globe awards The Social Network walked away with Best Picture, Best Director, Best Screenplay, and Best Original Score. How's that for accomplishment?

I saw the film late last week and I have to say, it was better than I expected. The story was well-told, and benefited from a fairly unusual narrative structure. The performances were good, the pacing excellent. But.. when I stepped back (and conferred with a friend) one surprising fact emerged. This was one sexist film!

The film presents the question: what's the cost of inclusion? what's the price of success?

It opens on our anti-hero, Mark Zuckerberg, the co-founder of Facebook. He's in a strangely intense conversation with his soon to be ex-girlfriend about the importance of getting into the exclusive social clubs of Harvard. His insistence comes off negatively, and the conversation ends with the girlfriend breaking it off with him. This sparks a mean-spirited internet revenge, that eventually leads to the glory that is facebook.com. The ride from start to finish is a whirlwind of drive, deception, desire, and an all-consuming quest for cool. And the story ends where it began, with our anti-hero being alone, wishing he had the girl who left him. A nice story arc indeed. But what's beneath that curve?

Between being dumped and becoming a billionaire, the fictional Zuckerberg lives the life of a rock star. And by that I mean, he steps into a world where girls do any and everything to be a part of the journey. What do I mean by that? Well, let's run it down:

There are the Harvard co-eds who go from a Bill Gates lecture to performing sex acts on the main characters in the bathroom at a local pub; the Stanford co-ed who boasts her schools name on her skivvies after one-night stand with the founder of Napster; the Victoria's Secret model whose main concern is sharing a round of shots; and the college party girls, including the Facebook intern, who gleefully snort powder off another girl's stomach in a back room at a party.

I would feel like a prude writing this if it weren't all taken straight from the film. By and large, the women in this movie are backdrops, symbols of male success. And though the main character actually rises to fame after degrading his ex- and other women with a website called facemash, it seems wholly unnecessary to allow that callous disregard for women to extend to the larger world of the film.

Is it impossible to tell a story of American success without paying tribute to the supposed sexual spoils of victory? And is it possible that Zuckerberg and friends navigated Harvard University and Silicon Valley without coming across any woman who was more substantial than a one night stand? In this award-winning film, it seems that women are one-dimensional beings used to drive home a point - success may be complicated, but it sure is a lot of fun.

An Education

I’m an academic at heart (and in occupation) so it seems quite appropriate that I start off a new academic term considering “An Education,” a critically successful film written by Nick Hornsby and directed by Lone Scherfig. It explores gender roles, women’s access to power and resources, and the role that a formal education plays in this dynamic dance.

SPOILER ALERT!!!

I like this film. And if you haven’t seen it, I’d definitely recommend that you do. Now, if you want a pure, unbiased viewing experience STOP READING! Come back a little later. We’ll still be here!

Ok - back to our regularly scheduled posting...

In the film, “An Education,” Jenny, a young, studious Oxford-bound teen in 60s England is wooed by an older, well-off man. Her whirlwind romance gives her a taste of opulence and adventure, and causes her to question the relevance of her academically focused life. As she steps into the adult world, she asks an important question: what is all this education for? 

And here’s where it gets interesting. What our equally smart and curious protagonist discovers is that her access to a full and fulfilling life is severely limited by that age old problem of being “just a girl.” She can graduate from Oxford but without a suitable partnering with a similarly smart and ambitious man, her ceiling is relatively low. 

This idea is made all the more clear in one striking scene - Jenny brings her suitor home to meet her parents. When the feared meeting takes place we, the viewers, are struck by an odd revelation: her parents don’t mind their adolescent daughter dating a thirty year old man. And why not? Because these working class folk simply want the best for their daughter, and the best, it seems, is having access to and eventually being chosen by a man of means. And that is the true reason for pursuing an exclusive education. Oxford is a means to an unlikely end. Education = Upward Mobility via Marriage.

It’s easy to pan the idea of marrying for economic stability. It feels very last millennia to push your daughter to marry for money. Women are equally smart, competent, prepared to lead, etc, etc. Our Jenny should be going to Oxford so she can move into the professional world as a decision maker. But what’s the 2011 reality? 

In my Health Psychology class we recently discussed the intersection of gender and race and health disparities. One underlying factor related specifically to marriage. Women who are unable to marry or who marry men with less than equal earning power suffer greater financial and health challenges than their peers. They earn less than men, experience gender-related challenges to their career mobility, and are often straddled with the burden of caring for children, elderly parents, and other extended families. My undergraduates concluded that “it sucks” and “it’s not fair” but there seems to be a network of useful social and economic support that is linked to marriage. 

So the question that Jenny faced is a question that countless young women continue to struggle with today. Should they circumvent this entrenched system and create a viable alternative? Should they use their intellectual prowess to transcend their current social and economic standing? And if they choose to work within the system, is that losing?

Calling All Fem-Pop Bloggers!

Happy New Year!

We're looking forward to year full of popular culture musings, interesting tales, and provoking discussions that leave us with new questions and a few good answers.

If you have something to say, something to share, or just want to get a good discussion going - let us know. We're looking for regular and one-time contributors. So keep an eye out for all things popular, and drop us a line when you're ready to share.

You can expect to hear a lot more from us in 2011. And we hope to hear from you, too! 

~Shani