Lately, I have begun to contemplate how societal gender roles influence the well-being of young boys. Being that this is a feminist blog, I want to take a moment to bridge the content of this blog post to feminist ideologies. Feminists often share a common ideology (Polletta & Jasper, 2001). Namely, a consciousness of society’s traditional gender discriminations and openness to coming together with others to oppose discrimination (Downing & Roush, 1985). With this being said, I was intrigued to better understand how young boys view masculine gender roles, and how the adoption or resistance of masculine gender roles influences their overall well-being and more importantly, their friendships with fellow male peers.
I will begin with a general discussion of masculinity. What does one think of when they think of a masculine individual? A masculine individual is often characterized as unemotional, competent, heterosexual, and competitive. I will also point out, that for young boys, attempts to veer away from masculine traits are often seen as unacceptable acts (Ruble et al., 2007). This indicates that masculine traits are strictly enforced during boyhood. If these are the guidelines necessary to be labeled masculine and avoid ridicule from fellow peers, it can be hard for young boys to show their authentic selves and express their emotional states. Imagine the hardship a young boy must face as he avoids a sense of authenticity. For instance, after receiving a poor grade, he seeks comfort from peers and faces ridicule for expressing his emotions. Instead, he does his best to ignore his poor grade and disconnects with his authentic self and any form of peer support.
With a constant requirement to steer away from expressing emotional states and their authentic self, masculine norms often deteriorate close relationships between young males. Without a close friend to express oneself to, young boys often develop outcomes such as low self-esteem, depression, and aggression (Addis, 2008; Chu, Porche, & Tolman, 2005). I myself lean on peers when I am feeling down. I have a hard time imagining how I would feel without the close relationships I hold with my peers.
It is clear that a lack of close friendships has the power to damage the well-being of young boys. But how can young boys benefit from a close friendship? Really, what is the point of all of this? A close friendship has the potential to allot psychological well-being by providing an avenue of peer support and companionship (Helgeson & Lopez, 2010; Mendelson & Aboud, 1999). Without the pressure to maintain emotional stoicism, boys are free to discuss their emotions and work together to overcome stressful life events. Relating back to the example of the boy who received a poor grade, this child can open up to his peers and express how he is feeling. Instead of reticule, his friends can listen and validate what he is experiencing. Instead of ignoring his problems, he can express his authentic self and feel supported by his peers.
No matter who you are, you deserve to have a friend that you can lean. The idea that boys must be unemotional only leads to poor mental health outcomes (Addis, 2008; Chu, Porche, & Tolman, 2005). I want to point out that this post can relate to men too. Keep this blog post in mind when considering all the important boys and men in your life. Make sure they have someone they can connect and talk with.
I do wish to point to intersectional elements that were missed within this blog post. For instance, how might boys of color juggle both gender and ethnic stereotypes? Or how might a transgender male manage masculine gender roles? I also want to stress that I do not wish to generalize that all boys and men strongly endorse masculine gender roles or find trouble expressing their emotions.
By Kristin Vierra
References
Addis, M. E. (2008). Gender and depression in men. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 15(3), 153–168. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1468-2850.2008.00125.x
Chu, J. Y., Porche, M. V., & Tolman, D. L. (2005). The adolescent masculinity ideology in relationships scale: Development and validation of a new measure for boys. Men and Masculinities, 8(1), 93–115. https://doi.org/10.1177/1097184X03257453
Downing, N. E., & Roush, K. L. (1985). From passive acceptance to active commitment: A model of feminist identity development for women. The Counseling
Helgeson, V. S., & Lopez, L. (2010). Social support and growth following adversity. Handbook of adult resilience (pp. 309-330). New York, NY, US: The Guilford Press.
Mendelson, M. J., & Aboud, F. E. (1999). Measuring friendship quality in late adolescents and young adults: McGill friendship questionnaires. Canadian Journal of Behavioral Science, 31(2), 130-132. doi:10.1037/h0087080
Polletta, F., & Jasper, J. M. (2001). Collective identity and social movements. Annual Review of Sociology, 27, 283–305. Psychologist, 13(4), 695-709. doi:10.1177/0011000085134013
Ruble, D. N., Taylor, L. J., Cyphers, L., Greulich, F. K., Lurye, L. E., & Shrout, P. E. (2007). The role of gender constancy in early gender development. Child Development, 78(4), 1121-1136. doi:10.1111/j.1467-8624.2007.01056.x
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