I have experienced
a plateau, a feminist plateau. In the
past year, I have relocated to a new region with a different culture and set of
ideas, and the absence of progressive thinking has worn me down. I try to reclaim my feminist roots by reading
blogs and engaging others in dialogue about feminism. Sure, I’ve found a few women and men who
share these interests, and that has truly been the silver lining in my
experience thus far. When I talk to
friends who live in other regions of the U.S., they encourage me to use my
voice, while I hear, “The old you would have challenged that.” One of my friends, who I met at a job several
years ago, reminisces with me and will say, “You were the only one who got
called into the office so many times without ever getting written up.” With my
intolerance for injustice and passion for speaking up, I could argue my way out
of a maze; except, I can’t now. At work
and even out and about in my hometown, there were always people there to back
me up. Feminism has never been a solo
act.
The
thing is: there is no clear line telling you when the battle is futile and when
the iron is hot and ready to strike. I
feel exhausted, powerless, and traumatized by hearing someone assert that
“women have penis envy.” I envy the
privilege of getting to say something like that and have it go
unchallenged. Indeed, the experience of
self-identifying and participating in feminist activism has a cost in terms of
discrimination, alienation from people who feel threatened by feminism, and
looking like a “bitch” or “being emotional” because the experience of sexism is
nauseating. So, how do we keep this
going? A month ago, when I asked myself
that question, a blog entry on the Rising
Tide appeared called “Feminism Isn’t Working and I Give Up.” If you have
not read it, the blog is linked below.
In the piece, the author discusses the overwhelming flood of local and
global injustice against women while describing feelings of burn-out from what
feels like an uphill battle toward equality.
The message turns around, though, reminding the readers of the advances
women have made (i.e., more women in Congress than ever!).
And
that’s where the ray of light streams in, and I look to reminders that there
are still outlets and progress being made.
From pep talks with old friends and mentors to going on a hike, I
realize the liberating feeling of empowerment through connection in the world
with love toward others and appreciation of natural surroundings. The world is
bigger than my own frustration in this place, at this moment. For example, Malala Yousafzai was nominated
recently for the Nobel Peace Prize and was the youngest person ever
nominated. The field is rich with
examples of women who persevered in the face of extreme adversity. Though Malala may have felt fear for the work
she was doing, her deep and intuitive sense of knowing that education is a
right for girls everywhere was far stronger.
Even after being shot in the head, she came back stronger and with an even
more powerful voice. There’s a story
within her story for every woman who has felt beaten down and oppressed when
working toward social change – to be resilient and use that experience to
inform our cause. There are lots of
concrete ways to foster resiliency and to empower, and here are just a few to
get started:
1. SARK’s (2010) lost list: make a list of
things or relationships you have lost (i.e., the friendship of someone who did not support you)
and then write about how that loss has transformed you in a positive way.
2. Go outside: go
sit, ride, walk, or whatever in the REAL world.
3. Call a
feminist. You know you really just need
someone to validate the shit out of you.
And you deserve
it.
4. Meditate, journal, or tell someone about why
feminism is part of your identity.
5. Help a woman
out. There are levels of intervention
from policy work to sticking up for a colleague.
So, when things get tough, and I realize I’m
not with people who value and respect feminism, I remind myself of the Ted talk
on ‘willful blindness’ (see below) and write about how happy I am to be the
sole owner of a vagina. Patriarchy might
not be dead, but feminism has never been more alive.
SARK. (2010). Glad no matter what: Transforming loss and change into gift and
opportunity.
Novato, CA: New World Library
Written by Teresa Young
In one super-conservative place that I have lived, I found that the few liberal, open-minded, thoughtful people that I met became good friends. We needed to band together because there were so few of us. I hope that you find that same small group of fighters who can support you.
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