Safety is a Strong Word // Caylee Hunter

Photo source: http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-05-12/nearly-a-third-of-young-women-dont-feel-safe-in-public-places/7405434


Although the recent movements of feminism and strides toward equality have garnered women more power, there are still so many ways in which women must monitor themselves. Women are often told that many domains are not safe to go—running alone along a desolate path or walking to their car in a dark parking garage. There are many subtle ways in which women are told to remain in a place of fear and that they must do everything they can to avoid the dangers that may be lurking around the corner.

In the United States, an estimated one in five women have been raped during their lifetime, equating to roughly 20 million women (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2014). The attitudes about violence are reflective of gender norms regarding male domination over women as well as a power imbalance between genders.

There are many instances within the news where a woman was vulnerable to being attacked or “shouldn’t have been alone.” It is important to note the consideration and preparation women must put into their daily lives in order to remain safe. Women are often socialized to be responsible for the actions of others and that one choice can result in destruction or tragedy. We place such immense responsibility on women, to not only protect themselves but also to not provoke others in any way. The strength, time, and effort it takes to take up this responsibility is often overwhelming.

It’s worth thinking about how much you modify your life — whether it’s by taking a different route home, going home early, changing the way you dress or walk or wear your hair — in order to feel safe. At the root of all this is the cultural messages that are sent every day in often very subtle ways. The ways in which women are represented in the media, the way in which schools handle dress codes, and the emphasis on teaching women how to keep themselves safe perpetuates a culture in which women bear the accountability for the decisions of others. This can have harmful implications when a woman is consistently deemed powerless over her own body.

While there are no easy answers to a complex issue, I would argue that there are things that can be done to combat this issue. It is important to include men in the conversation about what can be done to prevent the occurrence of violence toward women and how we can change the cultural discourse around promoting safety rather than instilling fear. We can raise our children in ways that promote consent and a respect for one another’s choices. Safety may have a different meaning for different people, but we can all agree that women have a right to feel secure in their own community.

Corseting Women: Reducing a Woman’s Place in a Patriarchal Culture // Amanda Lappin

Img src: http://www.fashionmagazine.com/beauty/health/2015/05/12/what-is-waist-training/

There has been a war on fat through out the ages. Specifically, women have been held to a standard to remain thin and avoid fat at all costs. Women who are fat are labeled greedy, lazy, or lacking in self-control. As Hartley (2001) states, “fat is female” and therefore unbecoming.

Both in Victorian times and today, women’s fat is pathologized. Remedies are suggested to help women take up less space physically. In the Victorian times, women were encouraged to use corsets to physically reduce their bodies and the amount of space that they occupy. Today, women use waist trainers to lessen their presence. Luckily, in both Victorian times and today, there are advocates for women’s bodies and their right to take up space.

Women were encouraged to remain thin in the Victorian Age. Fat was considered an inconvenience to both the woman with extra weight as well as those who were around her. “Wherever the fat woman finds herself in a crowd – and where can she avoid it in the metropolis? – she is in effect an intruder. For she occupies twice the space to which she is entitled, and inflicts upon her companions, through every one of her excessive pounds, just so much additional fatigue and discomfort” (Fletcher 1899, p. 411).

Just as in Hartley’s (2001) article, taking up space is considered a sense of entitlement, as if each person is allotted a specific amount and to take up more is greedy. If a woman takes up more space, she is literally encroaching upon others. “A woman is taught early to contain herself, to keep arms and legs close to her body and to take up as little space as possible” (Hartley, 2001). This was no different in the Victorian Age. Women were encouraged to wear corsets to reduce the size of their waists drastically. Various books gave specific waist size requirements based on height. Corsets were used to achieve ideal waist sizes. Women were physically restrained and reduced.  Corsets are described as “hampering all the litheness and freedom” (Fletcher, 1899).

Not all people in the Victorian Age were supportive of corsets. One man writes: “To me a woman is beautiful when she dresses to her natural figure. If she is fat, let her dress becomingly and naturally for a fat woman and try not to appear thin. If she is thin, there is no use of her putting on more than nature has given her in order that she may appear well-rounded” (Sargent, 1900). An anonymous woman wrote in to the Toronto Times against corsets stating, “better far ‘unfashionable waists’ than years of pains and aches. We women are heirs to enough suffering without courting any more. Mothers, don’t, oh don’t, tight lace your daughters! And don’t let them tight lace themselves” (Anonymous, 1883). Medical professionals also spoke out about corsets physically moving organs and reducing lung space (though research is mixed on whether corsets have negative health consequences).

Current celebrities such as Kim Kardashian and Amber Rose have popularized waist trainers or waist tamers. Waist training is “the process of using a steel boned corset to modify your waist into an hourglass shape with semi-permanent results” (Dudek, 2013). Waist cinchers “target the abdomen specifically” and aim to reduce weight in the abdomen (Dudek, 2013). Waist cinchers work to “tame” weight in the belly and are usually made of latex.

Feminists have fought, and continue to fight, against beauty standards that are harmful to women. Waist trainers and waist tamers are continuing the idea that women do not deserve to take up space. Not only does waist training send negative messages about women’s bodies, it also physically harms them. Some women report not being able to breathe as well when wearing a waist trainer.

There has been controversy in both the Victorian Age and today about whether corsets are anti-women or anti-feminist. bell hooks states that “rigid feminist dismissal of female longings for beauty has undermined feminist politics” (hooks, 2000). Dismissing women for using waist trainers is not necessarily feminist. However, I think we need to explore why women are using waist trainers and what messages it sends to them about their value and worth.  Exploring the role that clothes play in our culture is very important for women. Examining the history of women’s clothing helps us understand women's place in society.

“The clothing revolution created by feminist interventions let females know that our flesh was worthy of love” (hooks, 2000).

References

Anonymous. (1883, May 5). An admirer of a small waist: A few pertinent questions. The Toronto Daily Mail. Retrieved from https://news.google.co.uk/newspapers?id=UP1MAAAAIBAJ&sjid=9jQDAAAAIBAJ&pg=4608,2577118&hl=en

Brinton, D.G., & Napheys, G.H. (1870). Personal beauty. Sprinfield, MA: W.J. Holland. Retrieved from https://books.google.com/books?id=PDUEAAAAYAAJ&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_ge_summary_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q=fat&f=false

Cassidy. (2014, September 3). A difficult history: Corsetry and feminism, part one. A Most Beguiling Accompilshment. Retrieved from http://mimic-of-modes.blogspot.com/2014/09/a-difficult-history-corsetry-and.html

Dudek, C. (2013, August 28). Steel boned corset vs latex/spandex waist cincher. The Orchard Corset Blog. Retrieved from https://orchardcorsetblog.com/2013/08/28/steel-boned-corset-vs-waist-cincher/?_ga=1.265749519.1480099143.1469818949

Fletcher, E.A. (1899). The woman beautiful: A practical treatise on the development and preservation of woman’s health and beauty, and the principles of taste in dress.. New York, New York: W.M. Young and Co., Publishers. Retrieved from https://books.google.com/books?id=SMMxAQAAMAAJ&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_ge_summary_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false

Hartley, C. (2001). Letting ourselves go: Making room for the fat body in feminist scholarship. In J.E. Braziel &K. LeBesco (Eds.), Bodies out of bounds: Fatness and transgression (pp. 60-73). Los Angeles, CA: University of California Press.

hooks, bell. (2000). Feminism is for everybody: Passionate politics. Cambridge, MA: South End Press.

Sargent, D.A. (1900). The place for physical training in the school and college curriculum. The Dietetic and Hygienic Gazette, 16 (1), 365-375. Retrieved from https://books.google.com/books?id=Ps45AQAAMAAJ&pg=PA186&lpg=PA186&dq=The+Dietetic+and+Hygienic+Gazette+Volume+XVI+No+1&source=bl&ots=mCy6tQtJOd&sig=MOkocEuRCJUxGaNXnqZlz39VnkA&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwinipTYkpnOAhVh3IMKHSQlCk0Q6AEIHjAA#v=onepage&q=corset&f=false 

Valenti, J. (2007). Full frontal feminism: A young woman’s guide to why feminism matters. Emeryville, CA: Seal Press.

Further reading

Seleshanko, K. (2012). Bound and determined: A visual history of corsets, 1850-1960. Mineola, NY: Dover Publications Inc.

Steele, V. (2003). The corset: A cultural history. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.

Wasp waists and feminist debates: Unlacing the Victorian corset controversy. (2010). https://alyssatomolonis.wordpress.com/2010/12/17/wasp-waists-and-feminist-debates-unlacing-the-victorian-corset-controversy/

Lessons from Anaïs Nin: Writing The Self // Rebecca Marcelina Gimeno, M.A.

            When I think of women authors who have radically documented their experiences in all of their fullness and vulnerability, I think most of author and lay analyst Anaïs Nin. Nin preceding the Women’s Movement, over and over describes in her writings the need for culture and artistic expression to return back to the subjective, and for women, especially, to write and document our lives. Nin, similar to other authors writing on femininity and women’s experience, believes that women’s accounts have historically been made absent from much scholarship. She beautifully asserts, “we are obliged to accept what our culture has so long denied, the need of an individual introspective examination. This alone will bring out the women we are, our reflexes, likes, dislikes, and we will go forth without guilt or hesitations, towards the fulfillment of them” (Nin, 1976). Nin (1976) believed strongly in “the woman of the future” who would create, and share her experience, without shame, hesitation, or reservation.

            What can we, as women, learn from Nin? To write ourselves openly, deeply, and without censorship. It is through this kind of soulful writing that we come to know ourselves more, and are able to create a historical document that spans and honors our lived-experience. This document can be returned to over and over to remind us as to how far we have come, how we have developed our wounds into wisdom, and to recognize the continuously changing nature of our experience--In other words, to lift us out of a kind of melancholic sense of stuck-ness.

            For many women, we have been taught by larger social and political forces, our developmental histories, and interpersonal experiences to privilege restraint, docility, caution, and, at times, even silence. Women such as Nin broke through these socio-cultural norms in order to express the richness of her life, in all of her ecstasies and pain. Her bravery and courage was a gift, an offering of The Self to those who would read her work generations later.

            Similar to this kind of confessional writing, psychotherapy encourages us to explore and better understand our experience. When life begins to feel meaningless, or when we are overcome by suffering, this is when it is especially important to write. Through the darkness, perhaps we can create something new, and maybe even begin the way towards healing and meaning-making. During some of my own experiences of difficulty, I have had the privilege of having at least one of Nin’s diaries by my side. In reading her most intimate and precious thoughts, I received a wonderful gift--the gift of company, understanding, and, most of all, shared-experience.

Works Cited

Nin, A. (1976). In favor of the sensitive man, and other essays (1st ed.). New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich.

Written by: Rebecca Marcelina Gimeno, M.A. 

Mike Pence, Traditional Gender Norms, and the Evangelical Church // Jennifer Trimpey

Img src: http://www.crossmap.com/

Lately, I’ve been bombarded by the news (as I’m sure many of us have been). One of the less talked about issues concerns Mike Pence’s relationship with his wife. The Vice President reportedly never eats alone with another women or attends events where alcohol may be served (Green, 2017). The author of the aforementioned article noted that this fact has highlighted a divide between Americans: socially liberal and progressive identifying persons might see this behavior as outdated, misogynistic, or crazy while conservative Christians may tend to consider it normal.

I was raised as an Evangelical Christian, the same sect of religion that Pence follows. In sixth or seventh grade, my parents signed me up for a weekend long purity conference (True Love Waits, if you want to look it up), where I was prompted to promise my virginity to my future husband. No middle school boys were in attendance; only little girls. We were told that we would be tainted if we gave our “flower” (aka virginity) to someone else other than our husbands because who would want a crushed flower when you can have a whole one (literally the exact analogy used). Not even fully aware what sex was at that point in my life, I promised (and signed an actual document) to stay a virgin until I was married (I don’t like making promises I can’t keep, but really what kid that age has the capacity to understand what they are agreeing to?). As we left the retreat, we were given a button that stated, “I’m worth waiting for” and prompted to wear it on Monday to school. Girls were innately “flowers” who required protection, upkeep, and constant reminders that their worth stemmed from their purity. The absence of boys at that conference taught me that the rules were different—and more exploratory—for them.

Women in the church have, since the middle ages, attempted to illustrate that they are equal to their male counterparts. Some of the first cases of anorexia in women developed in part because they believed that their denial of food (and the control that was required for that deprivation) might illustrate that their love for God was the same as their religious male counterparts (Bell, 1985). I had the books of the Bible memorized by the time I was 6 years old, yet no one (in the church at least) told me that I could use that memory to make myself more educated, intelligent, or successful. Much later in life, my religious boyfriend and I broke up after I completed my thesis on sexuality and marriage in the early Christian Church because I had decided I didn't think I wanted children based on the knowledge I had gleaned. That wasn’t traditional enough and didn’t jive with him. That was when I left the church.

In high school, my family moved down the street from Focus on the Family in Colorado Springs, a conservative Christian group that often pushes its value system into mainstream public policy. This organization’s values parallel the values touted by Evangelicals: anti same-sex marriage, pro-life, abstinence only, and strict compliance to traditional gender roles, to name only a few. If a child differs from the church’s norm, these ideologies can directly impact the children that grow up in these institutions. Take, for example, a Rolling Stone article about children exiled by their religious parents into homelessness because they eventually came out as gay or lesbian (Morris, 2014). Women aren’t the only ones affected. LGBT Christians are, men are, and the list goes on.

What Mike Pence implicitly implies with his “pure” marriage is that women cannot participate in politics, or business, or whatever industry because we are innately temptresses. If the religious men who run the country cannot meet one-on-one with a woman like, say Senator Elizabeth Warren, then how are women supposed to become equals? I don’t particularly care what Mike Pence and his wife decide to do in their relationship. What I do care about is the subtle noxiousness that permeates to women (among others) growing up in the church who perceive this as a message that they don't belong in politics or business or whatever industry that calls to them. What I do care about is the fact that we now have a Vice President who willfully continues this rhetoric on a national level.  

Everyone should be free to practice their own religion in whatever way they choose. I don’t want to tell anyone that the values they adhere to are wrong. However, in my experience, the values directly instilled in me by the church harmed me greatly. I was lucky enough to receive an education and to then have a choice whether or not I wanted to follow that lifestyle or pursue something different than becoming a wife or a mother (not that there is anything wrong with these choices when you actually have a choice). I hope that one day the Evangelical church and Mike Pence will graciously accept a female president or a gay or lesbian Evangelical pastor just as they do a stay-at-home mom. It would be what Jesus would want.

Written by Jen Trimpey, M.S.

Bell, R. (1985). Holy anorexia. Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press.

Green, E. (2017). How Mike Pence’s marriage became fodder for the culture wars. The Atlantic. Retrieved from https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/03/pence-wife-billy-graham-rule/521298/

Morris, A. (2014). The forsaken: A rising number of homeless gay teens are being cast out by religious families. Rolling Stone. Retrieved from http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/features/ the-forsaken-a-rising-number-of-homeless-gay-teens-are-being-cast-out-by-religious-families-20140903

The Impact of Female Dominated Workplace Policies on Men, Women, and Children // Aimee M. Poleski

Pic source: http://abovethelaw.com/2016/04/the-pink-ghetto-paternity-leave-horror-stories-from-dads-working-in-law-firms/

            Stay-at-home mothers often boast their job is all work and no play, while working mothers tend to claim they do more work than their unemployed counterparts.  Yet regardless of the mother’s role within a family, it is generally acceptable for the father to dedicate more hours than not to his role as a financial provider. Working fathers are at a distinct disadvantage because they do not experience the same flexibility, perks, and accommodations as working mothers.  The tendency for family policies to more often benefit women contributes to a disparity between the amount of time men and women devote to childcare responsibilities.  Such trends perpetuate the norm that women are responsible for the brunt of caretaking responsibilities, crystalize the tendency for men to occupy traditional gender roles, and effect quality of life for the family overall.

            In the1960s only 1% of fathers were actively involved in childcare responsibilities.  Since then men have become significantly more active in fatherhood roles (Haas & Hwang, 2008).  They continue to place a strong degree of importance on occupying the role of a provider, but have been found to gain more satisfaction from family roles over career (Burnett, Gatrell, Cooper, & Sparrow, 2013). An emphasis on family values, in conjunction with women’s primary role no longer being limited to childrearing and homemaking, has led men to be increasingly acknowledged in their roles as fathers (McLaughlin & Muldoon, 2014).  Despite this, men are simply not granted the same opportunities as women when it comes to workplace family policies.

            In some cases, women experience the benefits of policies geared toward family that include flex-time, maternity leave, or the ability to work from home, making work-life balance more achievable.  Yet as the workforce became more sensitive to the needs of working mothers it largely ignored those of working fathers (Burnett, Gatrell, Cooper, & Sparrow, 2013).  While women continue to experience gender inequality within the workforce, men rarely benefit from workplace family policies.  This disparity contributes to women remaining the primary caretaker and most often the partner to forego a career.  Of equal importance is the implicit acceptance that men dedicate more time to work than family (Levey, 2013), with over a third of working men spending over forty hours a week on the job (McLaughlin & Muldoon, 2014). Not only can women become burnt out on dedicating most of their waking hours to the home, but men’s quality of life and relationships within the family can diminish as well.

            Working fathers may be aware of family policies and feel they could benefit from them, but there is a passive assumption that the policies are in place for women.  Additionally, men’s need for work-life balance can be largely ignored.  This is reflected in employers implicitly discouraging men from taking advantage of family policies or reacting differently to male requests for similar accommodations as working mothers (McLaughlin & Muldoon, 2014). Not only may a man’s request be met with disapproval, he may even be perceived as engaging in excuse-making or dishonesty. When not requesting flexibility or accommodations, men are simply not offered the same benefits as women. Ultimately, both employees and employers to fail to even explore the possibility of men taking advantage of family policies.  This intensifies the existing belief that family policies are in place for women, further discouraging men from seeking out the same benefits.

            The blatant disregard of accommodating the needs of working fathers impacts the entire family.  When fathers work long hours it effects relationships with children.  Mothers develop stronger bonds with children not only as the child bearer, but as the parent who simply ends up spending more time with the child (Haas & Hwang, 2008).  Men experience incessant pressure to take on as much work as possible to maintain financial stability, which not only causes the father to dedicate less time to his fatherhood role, but can influence the quality of the relationship with his partner. Furthermore, high demands on either partner can cause mental, emotional, or physical strain. In many cases, the man a father wants to be is simply not reflected in his lifestyle.

            Fathers who take advantage of family policies, such as paternity leave, may experience many benefits, which in turn creates positive effects for women and children.  Men who dedicate more time to childcare display greater satisfaction within the fatherhood role, and greater father participation in caretaking can improve the quality of interactions with children and ultimately improve the father-child relationship (Haas & Hwang, 2008).  These benefits ultimately increase quality of life for both parent and child.  Women also benefit by being relieved of caretaking responsibilities, which allows them to explore other opportunities. The benefits of men taking advantage of family policies has been observed in workplaces that either require men to take advantage of family policies or foster a culture in which there is a greater awareness that the policies exist for men. Various methods of generating greater father participation in workplace policies geared toward the family may increase the number of men who take advantage of such policies.  One suggestion is for employers to utilize a fatherhood or motherhood passport that would detail the parental status of employees (Burnett, Gatrell, Cooper, & Sparrow, 2013). Identifying parent status would serve as a method of promoting an awareness that male employees occupy fatherhood roles. This would in turn normalize the perception of employees as fathers.  Normalizing fatherhood within the workplace may eventually reduce resistance to requests for taking advantage of family policies. As a result, men and children will experience stronger relationships and women may experience more flexibility if they prefer it.  As men become more able to achieve work-life balance the quality of life for fathers, mothers, and children may be expected to improve.

Written by: Aimee M. Poleski

References

Burnett, S. B., Gatrell, C. J., Cooper, C., & Sparrow, P. (2013). Fathers at work: A ghost   in the             organizational machine. Gender, Work & Organization, 20(6), 632-646.

Haas, L., & Hwang, C. P. (2008). The impact of taking parental leave on fathers’ participation in childcare and relationships with children: Lessons from Sweden.    Community, Work and Family, 11(1), 85-104.

McLaughlin, K., & Muldoon, O. (2014). Father identity, involvement and work–family      balance: An in‐depth interview study. Journal of Community & Applied Social           Psychology, 24(5), 439-452.